The Donor

I can't understand how a man can father something so wonderful then just go on about his life like it's not even happening. Sure we've had our issues that I needed to step away from the situation to clear my head and deal with it on my own terms. Not just by listening to someone every other day telling me to get over it. I had to deal with it in my own way and I did that. He on the other hand seems to have taken that time period to just ignore the fact that there's a baby involved. When we talked he would often say, 'the baby has nothing to do with it.' Maybe I'm crazy but shouldn't that baby have everything to do with it? After what he did to me, the baby is the only reason he still exists to me. I try to be civil and he still would rather play some 'cyber stud'. Which is lame in itself. I think he just acts like he care to impress all his internet buddies and I look like the bad one. He's the one who lied and cheated but he is the baby's dad and that is why I'm at least trying to have a civil friendship. Because to ME the baby has everything to do with the decisions I make. On the other hand, he would rather just pretend to be someone he's not to impress a bunch of random internet people he barely knows.
Whatever, I'm super excited about having a son and he's not going to change that by being an ass. He's not going to use my son's life to make himself seem like father of the year and tell people he wishes he could do more. Right now a packet of salt would being doing more. He's no super dad. IF he was, he'd try harder to be involved instead of worrying about his next internet fling.
This is just me getting things off my chest. I'll write another one just about the baby. I don't want his crap messing with all the wonderful things I have to say about my son and all the emotions going on with me.