Gwen, Presley and My Crazy Life

Thirty-two weeks down and eight more to go until I'm ready to pop. I'm getting bigger and things are getting a little harder to do. I can barely turn over in bed without making myself have to go to the bathroom. I'm tired all the time but I hardly have anytime to rest. I know the next 8 weeks will be even harder but so worth it in the end. I'm hoping to get the major shopping for Presley warped up within the next couple of weeks. Thanks to his dad. Who seems to be getting more excited about it than I figured in the past months. But maybe that's just how old men are.
With him taking care of those things, it will give me the leave way to take care of Gwen's school clothes (even though she's over loaded with clothes now) and her book fees and supplies for the first grade. And she wants Guitar Hero on Tour for her Nintendo DS. I swear, she wants it. If I wanted it, we'd so get it for Nintendo wii. Of course the only thing stopping me there is that her hands are too small to hold the guitar. But my brother and I are so down for it. I'm taking her to the movies sometime this week. Wall-E and Kung Fu Panda are playing and she'd love to see either of them. It seems we haven't had time to go out and do something, just me and her in a while. I mean we shop but just me and her spending the day out all about her.
I'm thinking of signing her up for dance lessons this fall. She has always danced around the house and loves the dancing reality shows and I figure if that's what she wants to, I'll sign her up. That way she has plenty of time to learn any type of dance she wants too. Plus she'll always have bowling. She's a Fields and that's what we do, bowl.
I decided I am finally going to go back to school. I've thought about it over and over before and took a little bit in Criminal Justice but not enough to even say I did. Time has always been an issue and now it's an even bigger issue with two kids and working full-time but I'm determined not to get myself trapped in a job that's less than what I expect from myself. I've been working behind the desk of hotels since I was 18 years old and worked in a dead end factory for two years and if I want to go anywhere in life or just better myself for my kids, I want to be able to provide for them completely. We are doing pretty good now but it could be so much better if I just applied myself and really got down to business. Maybe not in Criminal Justice but I'm thinking more along the lines of Paralegal studies. And I've always thought about Mortuary Sciences even though it sounds crazy. I have some time to completely think it over and hopefully have it figured out soon.
I go to court on Tuesday over the same crap I went to court over in Fedurary. And even though they were dumb enough not to take my offer for a payment arrangement then, they must want it now. But of course now is way too late and they're just going to have to wait until I'm back to work. How dumb do you have to be to turn down a payment arrangement at tax time? Everyone else got paid but they didn't. It's their own faults.
On Wednesday I go back to the doctor and pick up Gwen's pictures. So I'll let you know how the doctor appointment goes and how the pictures turned out.
I guess that's it for now. I'm at my 'going nowhere' place of employment and I have paperwork to do and an audit to run. What fun.

This and That

There's nine more weeks to go until the baby is due. It doesn't seem like that long when you put it that way. It's also a countdown until Gwen starts school again. It'll suck because I'll miss having her around all the time. But with the new baby and her been in school during the day there will be less chaos going on. Now that it's getting so close, I'm suddenly undecided about what swing, high chair and stroller I want. I guess it's a good thing I didn't do my usual spoiled brat thing and buy the first set I thought was cute and wanted to get. I like doing my baby shopping, so I'm sure I'll decide by the time he gets here.
I'm starting not to feel so well anymore. With Gwen, the last 4 weeks I was pregnant, I was sick a lot, my blood pressure was always up and I was on bed rest most of the time. I'm hoping it doesn't happen like that again. I'm leaving work at the beginning of August and I'm hoping I can make it that far without missing work due to feeling sick and just plain down and out.
I'm glad things with baby daddy are working out for the better. It seemed less stressful on me when we started being able to get along, nearly every time we talk. I would worry too much about him having what he needs and all that jazz. And now that he's finally rid of his blood sucker, he's able to help more with Presley. Of course if he wouldn't have spent so much money to make me see he cared in the beginning, it could have went towards the baby. But that's all that now. I was mostly worried about Presley not having his daddy around and not knowing if he cared about his son and all sorts of crazy things. And even if he just sent money for the baby and didn't have a real relationship with him, what would be the point. At least now I know he cares and wants to see him. If I ever move in with baby daddy he would be able to have a better relationship with Presley over him being in Indiana. But the exception would be, he would owe me a trip to Mardi Gras. I'm not going to live 3 hours from it and not go. And a new rocker, that's all I want. Nah, I'm not really that easy to please. I'm a spoil little brat. But there's no rush for something like that right now. At least until things are settled.
Gwen got her pictures taken last week. They came out really good and I'll get them up as soon as I get them. Well, that's pretty much what's been up the past week or so.

June 17th Doctor Appointment

I went to the doctor this morning and everything is going well. The baby is doing great and getting bigger of course. My sugar test came back normal. Thankfully, everyone at work had me worried about it. But all is well there. He didn't do too much. Heart beat is as strong as ever. I go back in 2 more weeks, so I feel like I'm on the final stretch.
I'm only working 6 more weeks before I take my vacation and start my baby leave. That will make the time go by quicker. My count down until my last day of work. Glory, glory, not a moment too soon. I'll probably freak out here before then. Then I'll have time to get everything ready for Presley's arrival. My next appointment is July 2nd, so maybe I'll have something more exciting to report then.

The Money Hungry People I Work For

I have worked front desk in hotels since I was 18 years old but this place is by far the worst. I understand that we aren't a cheap hotel but when you'd rather only sell 50 rooms out of 146 on a Saturday night over dropping your rate some to sell them, that's crazy. I don't even think this place is worth the rate we sell for. But what really makes me mad is the fact that we pretty much screwed any flood victim that needed somewhere to stay after lossing everything. Our rate was jacked up anyway for Special Olympics but instead of taking a discount off our standard rate for any other day, we took our rate back down to the walk-in rate of $99.99. Which I think is total bullshit to make a point to call the TV station and have them broadcast that we are offering them a discounted rate and when the get here, the totally get screwed. Then Sunday when our rate went back down from $129.99 to the $99.99 you would think our flood victim rate would decrease too. No way in hell with these money hungry idoits. It stayed at $99.99. So none of these people who lost everything were getting any kind of break here. Then I find out some people called for a little old lady who's house was lost and was without money completely because she just paid all her bills and was on a fixed income and didn't have $100 to spare, wondering if we would be kind enough to put her up a couple days and this place turned her away because she had no money. I understand it's a business but what kind of cold-hearted people would take advantage for people in need. And oh my gosh, I would sell rooms to these people with nothing for $79.99 and the reaction from management was like I just shot the Pope. And God forbid if we would have needed any of the rooms we rented for this 'discounted' rate, management would have thrown them out in a heart beat. I wish I was lying or making this shit up but it's another reason I, myself would totally avoid do any business with the Best Western Terre Haute Inn & Suites. I work here and know first hand how our General Manager treats and talks about our guests.
That's the kind of people I work for. Greedy people who only care about making a profit over doing something decent for someone in need. Everytime I collected crumpled dollars from someone who lost everything, I felt sick inside. Maybe I am on another one of my I hate working here rants but none of it felt right to me.

30 Weeks Pregnant and Everything Else

I can't believe I'm so close to having my baby boy. This pregnancy hasn't been so bad this far. I had all the morning sickness at first of course but by the second trimester, that was all over. Now I'm in the third trimester and of course I'm getting bigger. I mean real big. I don't remember being this big with Gwen at 30 weeks. Maybe Presley Garon will be completely different from his tiny sister. And things aren't going to get better because it's only going to get hotter. Clothes fit anymore, I'll get heavier, more back aches, the whole nine yards. His offical due date is August 23rd, so I've got the summer to go. But I'll start to take bets on when he's coming. I've started my doctor visits every two weeks now. I'm sure that will make the last 10 weeks go by quicker. My last appointment with my sugar test went pretty good. Strong heart beat and the sugar test must have came out good because I haven't heard from them. Thankfully, I was worried there for a minute.
I'm finally able to say I'm almost done rearranging our room to make space for him and all his things. I just have to do some final moving of things (I mean my brother does) and there'll be enough room for his crib. If Gwen and I weren't such girls and have 50 pairs of shoes, there would be more extra space. But I'm mommy, I'll compromise to make room.
I'm glad his dad and I are working through everything. Despite everything that has happened and all the crazy crap, I still love the man. Not only because he gave me my son but because at one time things were good between us. It all fell together so easily and it all seemed to be pear-shaped. We do have a real messed up history but that's how it is now.
We've come to the realization that not everyone is going to be for us. Especially when there's one person who has constantly said this baby isn't his for the fact that I'm the 'whore' who slept with her man. Even though my baby is none of her concern. I've offered him a DNA test from day one because of the fact that we got pregnant so fast. If it was the other guy's baby, I would have a new baby right now and not still have 10 weeks to go. Darryell and I got pregnant the week of Thanksgiving. I know it's his baby and he knows it's his baby and that's all that matters. Heck, my boss knows he's the daddy and our relationship was a big no-no here at work. Yet I still have my job despite people trying to get me fired. We talk about this issue a lot and the only person we decided matters enough to know for sure is his mother. We'll do it for the grandmomma but everyone else can shove it. I'm not hiding anything and I know who my baby's daddy is. As much of a whore people may thing I am, I would never put myself in a situation where I didn't know who my child's father is. I just don't want Presley to lose out on his family on his daddy's side over something so simple. They're his family too.
I think Gwen is growing bored with the whole pregnancy thing. She's just tired of waiting for her baby brother to get here. She knows his stuff is everywhere and that mommy's getting bigger and she's seen the sonogram photos but she'd rather have the real thing. I bought her this fancy little thing that would allow her to hear his heart beat and his movements and she lost interest in that but she does still get excited when we talk about him. Now that school is out, she'll be so busy doing her 'Gwennie' things, that time will start to fly by. She's getting her picture taken next week and I'm hoping she lays off the stunts for a couple days and doesn't do any face dives off anything. The 17th is new movie day and 'The Sword in the Stone' and 'The Jungle Book 2' comes out. That's super exciting. We love movies around my house.
I guess that's about it for now. There's always so much going on. I can hardly keep track of it all.

My Baby Daddy

Presley's dad and I have only known each other nearly a year now but for the past 7 months things have been really crazy, heart-breaking and just plain stressful. We got pregnant after seeing each other for only 6 weeks and 2 weeks after that he was sent home to Louisiana. When we got together I was the other woman. Even though he says it wasn't like they were married. He didn't seem happy and we talked a lot about everything and things just sort of went that way. I was seeing another guy on his crew before him and he would always try to get me to see how crappy the other guy was. (The other guy turned out to really be married.) But things with baby daddy just sort of fell into place.
Now 7 months after everything went down, he's still not man enough to put the first woman out despite the fact he doesn't want her anymore. And she's perfectly content living in his house for free, not working while he pays for everything. I think it pathetic that an old woman isn't trying to work to make her own way in life. Of course, who would when you've got it so easy. But what kills me the most is that he's allowing himself to be used and walked all over like that. Even when I hated him, I would want better for him. This situation has nothing to do with the baby and supporting him. I am a grown ass woman who does know how to work to take care of her own. I get nothing from Gwen's dad and she has everything she wants and needs and with or without baby daddy, this baby will be taken care of just fine.
But now he and I are getting along better than we have in the past 6 months and I think it's time he starts to show more respect for himself and not be taken advantage of anymore. After all, this person says this baby isn't Darryell's unless it's in a sentence where I'm the whore, then of course Presley is his son. So my baby boy would never be welcome in his own father's home. (If you can call it a 'home' anymore.) I would hope he wouldn't further risk a relationship with his son to keep someone else happy. His kid's needs should come before anything else. He even said himself that if they stay together, he knows my son wouldn't be treated fairly because I'm his mother. What's that tell you? Put my baby through that, no way. He just thinks he can save everyone and yes, I'll say it, he is being a sucker but it's time to man up and do what has to be done. Let her make a career out of the next sucker.
I know it's a crazy ass situation but how can I be mad about what went down after I walked out. But in the end he's Presley's dad and that won't change no matter what stupid things he does. He needs to show respect for himself completely before he can totally respect me and be serious about us and a relationship with his new baby.

First Week of July Randomness

I'm so glad I took Tuesday off last week as well as my usual Wednesday and Thursday. I got so much done at home to make room for the baby. There for a while I was feeling so far behind and that I'd never have room for his crib and everything would be so unorganized. But thankfully things are falling into place as far has room goes. Even though there's very little still for all three of us.
I am glad that there's not too many more days left that I'll have to work. As he gets bigger, I feel him like he's putting all the pressure at the bottom of my stomach. It hurts like heck sometimes but the doctor said it's good because he's doing what he's supposed to be doing. I don't remember it being like this with Gwen. Maybe because I was younger or because she was smaller. Who knows. But I do know I'm getting heavier now.....
I took Gwen to see Wall-E last Sunday. It was her first time at the movies and I was worried how she'd be not being able to move around during the movie. She's a very active child and I figured she wouldn't last. But surprisingly she did. I could tell toward the end she was getting a little restless but did a really good job and she really liked the movie. Now she wants to go see Kung Fu Panda. Her Fourth of July was pretty good. Her Uncle Bubby and I bought her a ton of fireworks that she was super excited about setting off. I unfortunately had to be at work at 11PM but did get to see them. I did take her to buy Guitar Hero for her DS but by the time we got to Wal-Mart, she completely changed her mind and got another Mario game. And I was so looking forward to playing some Guitar Hero. Oh well, maybe next time.....