What Makes Me Feel Old

My oldest daughter is in the second grade and she's turning 8 in November.

I've now hit 25 and a whole new age group on paperwork.

My first job when I was 16 has since been torn down and is now a Starbucks.

Where I got my prom pictures taken is now a vacant lot.

It's just a few but it's enough to make me see that nothing good will come of being in the mid twenties. But I'm still young enough to make my boyfriend's old ass ex jealous that he moved on with someone better and she's got her own rejects.

Start of School

My little Miss Gwen is now officially a second grader. She's going to the same school as last year and kindergarten. I don't want her to have to go to yet another school and start off as the new kid all over again. She's happy at this school and she's well liked. She got all her school shopping done. Even though the teacher can't make up her mind what school supplies she wants. She got new clothes, even thought she's still fits into the clothes she got last year. A girl's got to have clothes. I think she was less nervous this year than the last couple years. She went with her teacher and didn't hang on my side. Means my little girl is growing up so fast. She's already saying she's a big girl now and not to call her baby girl or a little girl anymore. I'm not ready for her to be so grown up. But I know my little girl is growing up and I'm hoping I can teach her and be half the mom that my mother was.

What the Fuck?

I'll never understand why a man would have to pay so much child support for kids that are pretty much grown. How could you pay so much and the mom still can't afford anything. I think if they money really was being used on the kids, they shouldn't need anything. Even when she was getting the full amount every week, he was still a dead beat. What the fuck ever. My boyfriend's ex needs to get a life or if money is that tight get a job to take care of your own kids better. I raise my daughter for 7 years without a dime of child support. (Not that I wanted any from her father) And she had everything she wanted and needed. So women just can't do it own there own. I guess that's what happens when you're kids are nothing but dollar signs to you. I feel sorry for them all.

Busy Busy Busy

For the next month or things around here are going to be pretty busy. A storage unit is opening up this weekend so that means we have to start getting the things we want to take with us ready to move out. Most of it we're probably going to leave behind. A few pieces of furniture will probably go depending on if it's able to be clean professionally. That must be why I loath dogs. Most of it came be junked to minimize the load we're moving. He's giving his mom some cabinets that I don't want We're not supposed to be moving back up there until April but I say I have the money now, let's hit the road. The more I sit and think about it, the less I want to wait that much longer. Gwen and Presley's Grandma is ready and waiting to take the kids shopping. Gwen will no longer have to wear a uniform to school and Presley never will, thankfully.This weekend is my birthday and Valentine's Day. We made plans to go out to a casino and dinner. Which is great, we do need some time out but I'm not wanting to be without my babies. Not even for one night. The only time I was away from Presley was when he was in the NICU for a week and two days. And since I left work, I've been with Gwen every night. Unless we go see the new Friday the 13th movie, then I'm here. It opens on my birthday but the way I've been feeling, I won't want to go anywhere. My engagement ring set came in the other day but Darryell said I can't get the engagement ring until my birthday and the wedding band I have to put up until we do get married. I rallied for the move over the wedding. So we moved it back again.I'm hoping the drama will settle down after we move. It's becoming a bit much. There's always two sides to every story and of course the stories people make up to have a personal pity party but I don't care. Let's make up stuff to make the other person look bad but when it all catches up, someone will feel retarded. Hell, I don't care. I have my babies and I'm getting what I want with this move, so anyone who has something negative to say about that can fuck off because I really don't care. My life is well, my babies are healthy, I'm happy as hell to be moving home or somewhere around there and that's all I need. My kids and I may be spoiled but at least we're respectful to the man who's up rooting his life to make us happy.

Almost Time

It's getting that much closer to us moving. We're starting to move things out this weekend, finally. We rented a storage unit and a moving truck and we even formulated a plan for when we do move to Indiana. Darryell had to deliver a vacuum truck to Baton Rouge, so that put our moving schedule behind for the day. But I'm sure we'll get caught up this weekend. Also this weekend Darryell wants to take us to some Mardi Gras parades. Which I'm sure will be fun and it sounds like a great photo opportunity. Gwen is looking forward to them as well. She's been asking all week when Mardi Gras is.I had to break down and renew my drivers licenses down here. I was hoping I could just wait until we're back up there but the wager periods up there isn't long enough for the time frame that we'd be moving. So, it looks like Louisiana has sucked me in. At least now I'm legit again to drive. (Um, I let mine expire.) I'm hoping to get a tattoo or two before we leave. Darryell buddy from work is a tattoo artist, so he's going to talk him into a good deal for a couple tattoos. That means I have to figure out what I want to get with the kids names and birthdays. My Valentine's ring finally came in and it's so pretty. I'll have to put a picture of it on here whenever I get around to taking one. I feel so lame. He went out of his way to pick out the perfect rings for my birthday/Valentine's Day and out wedding band sets and I got him some shoot 'em up games for the PlayStation 2 and the Wii. And I'm slowly puling him into the Guitar Hero. We're still feeling the effects of playing games on Wii. My arms are so sore. We're looking through some designs for a Mother's ring for Mother's Day, so I thought I'd look for a perfect Dad's ring for him for Father's Day. Something special for Presley's Daddy. For the time being we're concentrating on the move up there. And of course I've planned some side trips that could take us out of our way. I want to see some things in New Orleans before we leave Louisiana. There's so Mardi Gras museums and a World Was II museum that look pretty cool and of course I want to go to a small little town to see a Bonnie and Clyde museum and the marker in the place where they were gunned down. And when we're going through Tennessee I want to see Graceland. You know I'm going to see that.Well, Presley is going to be getting back up and I have some laundry and dishes to do and Darryell should be getting back from Baton Rouge sometime soon. I've got to get busy.

Mid_March

I have caught another cold. I feel like crap and my body isn't feeling to well either. I think it's all the late nights catching up with me. I've been feeling super tired the past couple weeks which I figured it was from working out and not being used to it and now I've got a cold. Darryell's been home for the past week and a half and I've tried to catch up on some sleep but it hasn't help thus far. Go figure it comes when I need to be 100%. With us planning to be moved out by this weekend and cookies that need to be baked for a school's bake sale for this weekend and with Presley perfecting his military crawl, I'm always up and going. I'm hoping a few days of rest will do me good.In the kids' lives, Presley is one step closer to crawl but that little boy can so move on his belly. He has a tendency to go for the game systems and controllers. With all the toys that baby has, he goes for the things we just took him from. He's great. He's cut his bottom two teeth. He was like his sister and was a very good when it came to teething. No fussing or anything just one day, he had cut his tooth. He loves to smile and I can't wait to get some pictures of his smile with teeth. The same week he cut his teeth, Gwen lost a baby tooth and was so excited when the Tooth Fairy brought her a dollar. I'm ready to go back home to show the kids' Mamaw, Papaw and Uncle Bubby how much they've have grown. My mom and dad have been super great help checking out houses for us. Thankfully because without them checking these places out, we would have bought the first one we were interested in and it would have been a lemon. The guy on the phone told us it was $3,000 down, $450 a month for 10 years for a three bedroom, two bath on two city lots but it needed some carpet and drywall. Yeah, sounds good over the phone. My parents check it out and it has unlevel floors that need fixed before the carpet goes down, there's holes in the walls of every room, there's a hole in the roof causing water to leak in and as a result, the ceiling in the bedroom upstairs needs replaced. Heck if we wanted to do all that, he'd work harder to keep this place and fix it up. But the only reason he isn't is because I want to go home.I had one of my random Amber moments and decided I was going to streak my hair purple so I went out and bought purple and pink hair dye. And when I got the urge and some foil, I bleached streaks in my hair and when it hits me again, I may do some purple. But I don't know, I'm usually a anti dye your hair at home person but it comes with the territory of being random. We're setting up a time to get me a couple tattoos. Nothing big, of course.....yet. All I was is the kids first and middle names with a heart. I'm so excited for that.Well, it's time for the bus and Presley's on the move again, laundry needs folded, dishes put away, things need packed and moved and all the means, I need to get busy.

Another Day

Today it's just me and Presley around the house. Gwen stayed the night with her Grandparents and Darryell's at work. I can't get used to him working Saturdays but at least he's not working extremely long hours in another start like before. But Presley keeps me busy, so I don't have time to miss him. Gwen on the other hand, she would rather be at her Grandparents house or with her Uncle Bubby. Last weekend (the one without the rain) she helped Grandpa get the pool ready and she dug up her bathing suits and it's been raining ever since. We're hoping the weather warms up sometime soon. I think the kids going crazy being stuck in the house for the past week. We need some sun. She's doing very well in school. She's loves getting up and getting ready and never fights to go to school like she did down there. We drop her off right at the door. So I'm no longer paranoid about her riding a bus. However, I was seriously stressin' during her Indy Zoo field trip last week. Shopping was the only way I could deal. But she made it home without any problems. She has another field trip next week, so I'll start all over again. She's been playing the drums for the Guitar Hero band set. And don't mess with her when she's in the zone. She's ready for summer and has been talking about being a 2nd grader next year.My baby boy is growing like a bad weed. He's already into 12 month clothes and is trying his hardest to walk. He can walk himself down the edge of the couch but when he lets go, he goes straight down. I've had my first causality of his crawling phase. Yesterday he made his way through all his toys, right into the kitchen and tried to pull himself up on the first thing he came across...the mop bucket. Needless to say, when we was done I had to mop again. No biggie. I was more stressed about getting the Mop & Glow off him. My poor baby. He unorganised my very anally organised DVDs everyday. But he's so cute when he goes it. One at a time like he's looking for something to watch. And sometimes he'd rather be with his Daddy over me and sometimes Gwen over Daddy and me but he's a very happy, healthy and spoiled baby. He the funnest person I know and I love waking up to him every morning. Sorry Darryell.I'm the same for the most part. I've been feeling sick, tired and just plain moody lately. I hope I'm not getting sick again. But with all this crap going around, I'm glad I buy my hand sanitizer in the huge bottle. But I'm not worried about me. My kids are what's important. My landlord is completely incompete. He has the need to tell story after story and think I really believe what he says. But I pay the rent and hope he won't come back for a while. He wants to make sure rent is on time, yet he's the one who owes the guy who owns the house a ton of back payments. He's the kind of people who complains about people not using spell check but doesn't use it himself. Now I'm one of those people he talk crap online but if you meet this guy, you'd be left wondering what the hell was that guy even talking about. I better get this over with. It's still early but I've got to go to the store.

Yet Another Rainy Day

Well, it's another rainy day leading to Presley and I being stuck in the house. The only times we were out this week was to go to some appointments. One of which was a doctor appointment. Not fun for either of us. I take that back, Presley had a good time talking to everyone. He's been sick since Sunday and we're lucky we got him into the doctor when we did or his ear infection could have became worse. Yesterday was the worse. He cried nearly the whole day up until we got to the doctor. Then he was his usual happy self. And of course he was a great baby for his daddy when he got home from work. Poor baby has to take icky medicine every six hours. Darryell and I have been sick right along with Presley. Which makes him being extra fussy at night a little more difficult but we manage to get him back to sleep somehow. Then poor old Darryell has to get up at 5:30, sick to go to work. But he does it, everyday. After working all day he has to come home to me and the baby not looking or acting our best, thanks to this cold.It was my first Mother's Day with Presley. And seeing my kids in the morning makes me see how lucky I am to have them. No matter how late Presley kept me up or even if Gwen is acting stubborn as a donkey getting ready for school. Darryell and the kids got me a mom necklace for Mother's Day. And Gwen planted me a flower and made a card. Which I love. I always love it when Gwen uses her creativity to make me gifts. We had a cookout out at my parents house and my mom was super nice and kept the kids a few extra hours so we could catch up on some sleep. Got to love my mom.Darryell's old dog passed away last week. He expected it but it was still hard when I had to tell him she was gone. She had been swelling in the back legs since she was moved to Darryell's mom's house but it went down before we left. So I let him bring her with us. And a month later, she died. Now we have one dog, Macaroni, and that's nearly enough dogs but I'm talking Darryell into a kitten.We think that something is going to go down with our landlord and the man who really owns this house. The gentleman who owns this place tried to catch us before we paid rent last month but said he'd be back in touch with my parents before next month. Hmmmm...I hope it's interesting. The landlord stalks this house like I owe him child support. When he's the one who has yet to fix the things he was supposd to fix before April 1. We'll see what goes down in the next couple of weeks. My life has lacked drama in the past couple months, so this should be good.Well, Presley is getting up and he won't be happy if I'm not right there.

Blowing Off Steam About Our 'Slumlord'

Alright now, it's really late and I should be going to bed but I need a serious bitch fest about our landlord. He doesn't seem to be running on a full tank of gas. It all starts with little things, like telling us our little weinner dog is going to tear up his fence and to move him to the very back of the yard. So we move him all the way into the back corner. Then he makes a big deal about us bringing the trash cans inside the fence after trash day. But when when we did leave them out there, he pulled his trailer up and unloads trash from it to our trash cans, so we have nowhere to put our trash for the week. He would come over reminding us to cut our grass like some sort of lawn mowing Nazi. He hasn't fixed a thing he said he would have done by the time we moved in. It's been over two months since my parents signed his lease and the roof has yet to be fixed but that didn't stop him from dumping used boards and old shingles in our backyard. But if we would have left junk laying around like that, he'd totally bitch at us. He put a fridge in here that didn't work and even after we told him repeatedly that it wasn't working properly, he left it in here and only once half-ass 'worked' on it and finally took it out of here a few days ago. Thank God we brought ours from Louisiana or we would have been totally screwed.However, what finally did it for us was him filling up our basement with all kinds of his junk and taking our key to it back. Oh but there so much more to the basement full of junk. Apparently, there's stuff down there he's selling to random people. And without any type of warning or even a knock at the door, these said random people come and go in our backyard as they please. The landlord himself is creep enough but me being home alone during the day with the kids, I really freaked out. They might as well have walked through our house and out the back. I hear loud bangs down there and they're lucky we don't own a gun (with bullets). I worry that if they'll just get in the basement (which now has a broken lock, thanks dumbasses), what's stopping them from getting into the house. Since we aren't the only key holders to this place. We have our little dog who sometimes barks at strangers. What dog doesn't. He doesn't bite but I hate for him to feel defensive against these strangers and bite one of them and he has to be put down because of all this shit. But today the camel's back finally broke. I called my mom and dad freaking out because someone was out there. So they come over and my dad calls the landlord over here asking about all his junk in the backyard and why these people can come and go as they please. (My parents are on the lease too, so he can bitch too) Well, the landlord starts a fight with my dad saying he can do whatever he wants like it or not and starts blaming our dog for his cheap ass tiles peeling in the laundry area. So he said since we don't like it, we're out by July 10th. So he's kicking us out because we didn't like the fact that he's done nothing he stated in the contract, he was confronted about letting people come and go in the yard without warning and two peeling tiles. It's complete and total bullshit.My dad thought we were mad about the fight that lead up to us being booted but once I calmed down and thought about it, it couldn't have worked out any better. Since the first day I met Mr. Slumlord, he creeped me out. I didn't feel comfortable in my own house. He always showed up when Darryell wasn't home. And this way, we're not breaking the contract, he's throwing us out. We're in may ways relived. I'm already making plans on how this packing is going to do down. We're going to replace those two tiles that were already peeling. So he can't try to keep our deposit he already said he would give back IF after his walk through, we 'pass'. We'll shell out a whole 75 cents to replace them. First of all, if he wouldn't have used cheap tile to start with, it wouldn't be peeling. And secondly, my dog didn't do it, I accidently made it peel more when I was mopping. Shows what he knows. My mom is trying to get ahold of the man who really owns this house. The guy our landlord can't even make payments too. So he knows what happened incase Mr. Slumlord trys to push anything off on us. But anyone looking to rent and/or buy in Terre Haute, In. He is a total slumlord. He will charge you rent that's way too high for a way too small house, that you can only use half of. He will try to make stupid guide lines like the only place you can put your dog and no hanging of pictures and He will repay you for jumping through his flaming hoops by letting your roof leak, filling up your trash cans with his trash, let strange people in the yard and leave broken appliances in your too small house and blame you and your little dog too for everything he didn't fix to start with. Renter beware. I feel much, much better now. Thank you.

Still Feeling Down

Monday, February 02, 2009

It's been almost 2 months since my friend Tom back home passed away. But it's funny how crazy dreams can get old memories running through your mind. It's one of those things that you never see coming and out of the blue, he's gone. Tom was my buddy at work. He was my security guard but spent more time running around trying to help my pregnancy cravings. Either running to McDonald's early in the morning for sweet tea or walking all the way down to the laundry room to get me a root beer. He suffered through changing temperature in the lobby and the back office depending on what I was feeling. He stood at the desk when I was sick in the bathroom and put up with my pregnancy gas. He made my long nights on the audit shift not so boring. I loved to hear him break out into song and sing my favorite Elvis songs and we'd talk for hours about the movies we love and googled to see if there was going to be a squeal to them. He could always make me laugh when I didn't even feel like being at that place we worked at. I guess my favorite memory would be us sitting outside watching the fireworks. I am thankful that he got the chance to meet my son before I moved.I takes me back to when my friend Janet passed away and I wasn't there. I guess that's why their passings stay in my minds, I wasn't there to say a last good bye. They are probably the closes people in my life that I lost. But sometimes they still feel so fresh in my mind. Rest In Peace Janet Evans and Thomas Christopher Meeks (My Tomato)

Peaceful Days

It seems that lately there's been so much going on but when I sit down to write something, I can't come up with anything at all. Christmas was pretty good for the kids. I couldn't get them everything the want like I usually do but I'm going to make that up to the after tax time. We need a shopping spree and I've been a good girl lately with little shit talking, so I deserve one. There's not much to talk shit about since it's been so peaceful around here the passed few months. I'm so glad for that. I was getting tired of hearing shit from people who think everything on here is about them. Them shutting the hell up has been a God send. Gwen raised all her low grades and even raised the ones that were pretty good to start with, she made honor roll this time around and a reading test they took said she's reading at a second to third grade level. I'm so proud of my little girl. She's finally going to get her Wii and I'm replacing her Nintendo DS, it's getting rather broken in and thankfully with us moving back up there, I get to use my brother's dicount on games. I'm going through shopping withdrawals, so it's going to be on.New Years was okay too. We didn't go out but we just stayed home and watched some bowl game and a Hooter's swimsuit competition on TV and the ball drop of course. I did some whiskey shots to bring in the new year. I would have rather been with my mom drinking her margaritas. I don't drink much anymore. Probably again on my birthday and whenever we do get married I was pink champagne. I used to be a heavy drinker, so I don't want to get too used to drinking again.Presley is going to be 6 months old next week. I can't believe that much time has gone by since he was born. He's getting so big and to look at him you can't tell him was premature. He's rolling all over the place and trying like hell to crawl. He's getting more and more vocal and loves spitting bubbles. I can't wait to take him shopping. He loves his Daddy. Presley will watch him walk from one end of the room to the other and back. At night when I can't get him alseep, he'll go right to Daddy's arms and crash. Darryell went back to work after two weeks of vacation and my days suddenly turned to hell. Presley knew he was gone and wasn't liking it. There's so much to look forward to in my little man's life.I'm excited and ready to move back home. As of right now we're leaving in June. Unless I freak out and make us move sooner. I tried it down here and I wanna go home. I'm not going to whine about how much I miss my family. I made up my mind and Darryell's and now I'm up rooting my old man to get my way. H'e excited about moving too. Not looking forward to his first winter up there but excited just the same.Darryell's working with Glenn now in Texas. I'm not sure how long he'll be working there but he's getting a company phone, a gas card and a company truck. I love the big red Clean Harbor trucks. And it's always fun to listen too them bullshitting about work and stuff. We'll sure miss Glenn when we leave. Presley just loves it when his Uncle Glenn comes over. He loves bragging to his girlfriend about how much Presley adores him. Even though Darryell jokes with him saying Presley is his baby, he knows better. Presley looks like his brother James in some pictures and has redish/strawberry blonde hair. Well, what hair he has.That's enough for now. Going to spend then evening with my mother and sister-in-law. So I better get ready to go.

2008

2008 was a pretty exciting year from me. Darryell and I had our ups and down at the beginning of the year but by May we had everything smoothed out and things are going wonderfully. My beautiful baby boy Presley was born on July 19th. He had Darryell and I both stressed out with him coming 5 weeks early but was perfectly healthy and has grown into quite the little butterball. Gwen has came along way. She made it throught Kindergarten and has made a smooth transition to first grade and a new school in a new state and has made new friends. I'm learning to be not so up tight when she's out playing with her friends. We moved to Louisiana to be with Darryell in September. That was the biggest change for me last year. I moved from the city I've called home for 24 years. We didn't even make it to St. Louis on the way down here and I was already crying. In December my friend, Tom, had passed away. Which was kind of a shocker to me. Me seemed fine but had had previous heart attacks. He would was my security guard when I worked overnight shifts at the hotel. And he would have no probably hunting down a root beer or driving to McDonalds to get me a sweet tea at 3 in the morning and could handle my pregnancy gas. He'll be missed.
I'm hoping 2009 we been even more exciting for us. Gwen is going to be 8 and in second grade in the fall and she's going to be growing and changing more and more everyday. Presley has a ton of changes I know he's going to be going through. He'll be 1 in July . There's so much to look forward, his first word, crawling, first steps...wow, there's so much. We're planning to move back to Indiana by Christmas 2009 and I'm completely excited about that. To be home where I feel more comfortable. We're also planning a trip to Indiana and Las Vegas in June. And hopefully getting married in Vegas. Why not, we're there. And while we're in Indiana we're going to do our hunting for new places to live and new employment for him. I'm hoping to get back in shape and finally start some college classes and just enjoy being Mommy to two beautiful kids.