My Worst Fear

I know a lot of mothers would agree but one of my worst fears is my kids getting lost somewhere and not knowing where to look or just disappearing. Well, yesterday I had one of those heart dropped to my feet moments. You know that yesterday was Gwen's first day of school. We took her in the morning and she was riding the bus home. I went down to the neighbor's house at 3:00 and sat there waiting for the bus that comes between 3:45 and 4:00. When the bus pulled up, I jumped up, went outside and had her bottle of Kool-Aid ready for her. I watch the bus doors open and kids are departing. And then the doors close and it pulls away. Oh My Gosh!! My heart completely dropped. All day I was crying around to Darryell about my fear of her getting on the wrong bus or not at all. And he told me over and over that everything would be okay. So when the bus left without her getting off of it, he was freaking out a little bit too. I stood there in the drive way waiting for that bus to make it's loop and come back up the road to get to the main road. Our friend Justin stopped the bus and got back on to get her. (Thank God) And she got off the bus and ran opened arms to me.
It was only a few minutes time frame from when the bus dropped the first kids off and it coming back around but it felt like an eternity. I guess my fears of the school system dropping the ball with my child comes from when her last school nearly put her on a bus and she never rode a bus there ever. Or when there was an earthquake (not a big deal) and the school called and when I called them back they didn't know why anyone called me. But when we went to get her after school the teacher said she was called in sick that day and wasn't in school. If she wouldn't have been outside waiting for us with her friends, I probably would have gotten out of that car and it would have been real ugly. My kids are my total world and the reason I do anything good in my life and without them, I'm nothing. They make me who I am and make me want to make the best decisions I can to make their lives better and because of them my life it better even in the worst of times. I love them both so much.
Today it Gwen's first day riding the bus to and from school. So we'll see how I react today. Watching her walk to her bus (in her new uniform that actually fits) and get on it without totally freaking out (unlike me) made me so proud of her. Without even knowing it, that little girl made me stronger than I ever thought I could be.