What I'm Grateful For

I think about things like this all the time. The things in my life that I'm so grateful to have. The first and always number one thing I'm grateful for is my childern. No one else comes before them. Not a man or an animal, nothing. Gwendolyn has saved my life so many times and she doesn't even know it. When I was at the lowest point in my life and all seemed hopeless for me, I honestly say if it wasn't for that little girl ( 3 years old at the time) I would have gave up. I was in a really bad, abusive relationship. After I nearly died due to his abusive ways, fear kept me there. I know it sounds stupid and I always said if a man ever put his hands on me that way, I'd be gone. But it was so different when I was in that situation. But all I could think of when everything was going down, was never seeing my baby girl again. After that, I made my way out, got sober and even though it took me a while to get back on my feet after losing nearly everything I had. I barely had my sanity but I made it out with my life and my child. I'm grateful for that.
Then there's my baby boy Presley. I was content with one child before I got pregnant. But after I found out I was indeed pregnant, it turned out he was everything I hadn't realized I wanted. Being a mother means the whole world to me, so I loved the fact that I now had a chance to be a mommy again and Gwen would have the baby sibling she always wanted. When I went into labor 5 weeks early, I never felt that kind of fear before. I didn't know what was happening or why this was happening, if he was okay or if I did anything wrong. All I did know for sure was that if it came down to it, I would have risked myself to give him life. Thankfully, my labor was normal other than it being 5 weeks early and that he was a big boy for being so early. He was healthy as can be and I'm so grateful for that.
I'm grateful for my friends and family. My family was there helping me get through some of the roughest times in my life. They were there when I needed something, even something as petty as shampoo or as big as my car payment. There was many nights after I hit rock bottom and though I was climbing out and I'd slide right back down, I would get so drunk, I wouldn't even know where I was. But my mom always cleaned up whatever mess I made and put me to bed. Even when I felt worthless and thought I had nowhere to go, my friends and family was there pulling me out. I'm also grateful for my new family down here in Louisiana. Moving away from home for the first time in 24 years was hard but they all made me feel so welcome and offered their help whenever I need it.
Last but not least, I'm grateful for Darryell. He gave me my beautiful son and became a father-figure to Gwen. We went through a lot in our first few months but he never gave up on me. I was the coldest bitch to him at times and he just kept coming. Trying to prove once again how much he loves me. He's always there when I need him. He puts me and the kids first over anything. He includes us in every decision he makes and never leaves us out of anything. He's giving me the chance to be just a full time mommy for a while since I missed a lot with Gwen and wants me to be there for the kids when I want to be. I'm getting the chance to further my education like I've always wanted. He's the man who proved to me that not all men are the same. And I'm so very grateful to have him in my life.